WSU Recruitment!

Get Ready Cougars .... Here I come!!!!

Woot! It's my favorite time of year ... recruitment time! Soon I will board Alaska airlines and head north to Washington State University located in Pullman, Washington. I love these girls and am really looking forward to helping out with their recruitment this year.

Recruitment is the lifeblood of our fraternity and we embrace it with passion and a firey competitive spirit! It's more than singing, smiling, and looking cute. There is a surprising amount of strategy involved. That is the part that I enjoy the most. The chapter at WSU is poised to do especially well this year. We've been building their recruitment program for several years. So, I'm looking forward and hoping for a special year filled with lots of hard work.

So, think of me late at night and know that I'm working hard to get the strategy right pledge the best girls for Alpha Phi!!!

Good luck everyone!!!!

Partners in Crime

Meet Killer and Molly ... my kids! These gorgeous creatures give me hours of fun, companionship, and uncomplicated love. Killer (the one wearing white) was born in August 2007 making him 15 months old. When we brought him home, he was about 4 pounds and a little tiny fur ball. We named him "Killer" as a joke ... but I think "Lady Killer" would be as good a name as any. He has lots of charm and loves to snuggle. Molly is the young lady in brown. She was born in October 2007. She is actually my mom's dog. Dad bought her as a gift last fall, but it became clear very fast that their home was no place for a new puppy. So, I brought her to live with us in February 2008. I just love Molly to bits. She has a lot of spirit and loves to mix it up with her older brother. When we brought her home, she was itty bitty but snored like a big, drunk sailor at night. It was incredible! She still snores, but we just don't hear her because she and Killer sleep in a cozy pen in our garage at night. Killer and Molly are partners in crime and make our house full of constant activity. You will never be completely alone in our home with these two faithful companions to keep you company.

A Year for Thanksgiving

We are approaching Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season. I have noticed that the people around me are not feeling particularly festive this year and I'm sure that the economy has us all walking around in a funk. I have had perhaps the single most difficult year of my life and have talked more than once with my sister about being glad to bring 2008 to a close. Lately, I've been praying a lot for a little divine intervention to turn my thought process around. So, here is the first leap of faith that my prayer will be answered!

I lost someone very important to me this year. My mother. My mom has been such an important person in my life. I know that isn't a terribly unique experience or insight as mothers generally play a very important role in the lives of most people. But, she was MY mother and I miss her terribly.

My mom really struggled with her health all throughout her life and the last few years were bad. Last December I flew to Texas to be with her in the hospital. She had been in and out of the hospital a few times earlier in the year and so this was not new. However, she was so terribly weak and her condition was such that my dear, dear father simply couldn't handle the situation at home any longer. I was there to help my father move mom into an assisted living facility. Despite her illness, mom's fire was alive and well and she gave everyone hell for having to be in that place. She sure hated it and I don't blame her one bit. And, Dad sure did his best. I felt so bad for him. Married for 58 years and it came down to this moment. I know it isn't how they wanted it.

I was in Chicago last April and I got the phone call that Mom had taken a turn for the worst. The doctor told my father that they could take her back to the hospital and do all sorts of things to get her back to a condition like she was just a few weeks before. My dad was so brave and made a really hard decision that came from his deep abiding love for my mom and undertanding of what her will was for this situation. So, my dad decided to not go that route. Instead, hospice was called in and the family was summoned.

When I arrived that night, I found my mother in her room in a very sad state. It's hard to say that she really even knew that we were there, but the hospice people say that she knew. After a few tears and some nourishment that my dad really needed, we discussed the next steps and what would be the best thing for mom. We agreed that the next morning we would bring her home so that we could all be with her in her home and everyone could be comfortable as we sat with her.

That night, I had a "feeling" and so I went to stay with her at the care home during the night. It was perhaps the most intimate experience of my entire life. I sat with my mom and said my goodbyes to her. I explained to her what our plan was but that she shouldn't feel any need to hold on any longer. All of us would understand when she finally decided to let go. I sat by her bed and held her hand that night. It was an honor to do so. Finally, at about 3:00 a.m. it became clear that it was time to call the family. Shortly after my father arrived, my mom passed. I held her hand as she took her last breath. My brother was at the foot of her bed and my dad held her other hand. My brother called my sister on his cell phone and I held the phone to mom's ear so that my sister could talk to her. It was a holy moment.

The memorial service for my mom was beautiful and many commented that they left feeling uplifted by the way that we celebrated my mother's life. Just recently, my family returned to Texas to go with my father to bury my mom's ashes at a veteran's cemetary in Oklahoma. It was great to be together as a family and to remember mom.

As I look back on this year, I still grieve for the loss of my mother. But, I am also thankful for the many gifts that she gave me and for the time that we had her on this earth. She nourished me in many ways. Her love for me was without question. She was the rock of our family.

Today, I wear one of her bracelets wherever I go. It's not a fancy bracelet, but it is definitively my mother's. Not a day goes by that I don't remember something my mom said or did. And yes, every now and again, I cry a bit. But, my mom is free of illness and she is in the place that was promised to her on her baptism day. She is happy and she is whole. God blessed me with a wonderful mother. Our family is a living testament to the character of my mom. We are a close family full of support and love for one another. I am very grateful for the peace that comes from having a happy family life. Mom was at the heart of it all. This is what I will give thanks to God for during this Thanksgiving Holiday!

Meet My Hero

I just want to acknowledge my unbelievable niece, Angela who just graduated from medical school. She will be starting her residency on July 1st in General Surgery. One might think that the sheer act of graduating from medical school makes her special. However, her brilliance does not stop there. Angie is a woman of purpose. She has known since she was a young teenager what she was placed on this earth to do! Not only has she wanted to be a doctor for a very long time, she also wants to serve God and be an instrument of his grace to other people in far away lands who may never otherwise have the opportunity to hear the good news! I live in awe of her commitment since a young age. I marvel at her ability to listen intently to God and follow him so closely. I look forward to every time that I get to see her and learn about her latest adventures. Anyway, Angela Hope Qualey is definitely one of my heros! You go girl!

Hey ... who stole my uterus?

OK ... so, I haven't written in a while which means that I am either (a) a really lame blogger; (b) possibly so busy having crazy-exciting adventures to blog; or (c) someone who doesn't have a whole lot to say! You pick, but here goes.

There has actually been a lot happening in my family and my life over the last several months. But, tonight I want to talk about my uterus. My doctor performed a exorcism on my uterus. There is absolutely no other way to explain it. It seems that a nasty fibroid measuring about 8 centimeters took up residence in my pelvic cavity and attached itself to my uterus. As such, I named it Brutus. I have to laugh because I was reading a message board called HysterSisters where a group of women were comparing their fibroid sizes. Oh yes ... you men may want to compare your, ahem, "manhood" and us ladies will just compare our fibroids. Anyway, the message board was very entertaining and the ladies began to compare the names that they had all given to their fibroid. I found this really funny because you do feel compelled to name it. It feels like this living being inside of you doing war with your body with malicious intent! One lady noted that everyone had given their fibroid a male name ... curious.

So, I went to the hospital on April 15th and had Brutus forcefully removed. The doctor decided to not just take out Brutus, but the whole set of plumbing ... both ovaries, etc. The surgery itself was interesting in that she didn't do a big incision like ladies get when they have a ceasarian section. Rather, she did it laporoscopically ... sorry about that lousy spelling. This has made the recovery much, much easier than it otherwise would have been. The whole experience was crazy. When I woke up, I was in crazy pain and the nice nurse started pumping me with morphine. Nice! Morphine = Good. Did you know that in Britain that they don't give patients narcotics for pain? They view narcotics as bad. I have no idea what they give you. Perhaps that's why it is necessary for the Brits to maintain that stiff upper lip.

Anyway ... I'm about 2 weeks out from my surgery and the recovery is going pretty much like clockwork. I still have discomfort and get tired pretty easy, but for the most part I'm feeling pretty good. I'm really happy to know that Brutus has left the building. Perhaps I will write a children's book about the whole experience. On second thought, maybe not.

Why I love Alpha Phi!

It's not often that you find a group of people with whom you truly resonate. This is how I feel about Alpha Phi. No matter where I travel in this country, I always run into other women who share my passion. There is nothing better than meeting someone who's shared experience makes you an instant friend. For the last 6 years, I've been working with our chapter in Santa Clara, California as their Recruitment Advisor. I have had the time of my life and I just LOVE these young women. They are SO smart and accomplished. They dream big and put their all into everything they do. With this "Go Big or Go Home" attitude, they are the top donor chapter to our Foundation which supports, among other things, cardiac care education for women. Last year they raised over $74,000 for the cause.

Meet my friend Laura Crowe (she the one on the right). I love Laura. I sincerely believe that we must have been separated at birth, even though I'm a bit older than her. It could happen, right? Laura is the Chapter Advisor for Zeta Gamma chapter in Santa Clara, CA. This is a picture of her at Alpha Phi Convention in 2002. We think so alike that it is truly scary. We can complete eachothers sentences and we are always on the same page in terms of giving advice to the chapter. I don't think I've found anyone other than my own biological sister that I have felt such "simpatico" with. Laura is amazing because she is one of the best Chapter Advisors that I have ever known and at the same time she is a wife, mother of 2 toddlers, and has her own dental practice. She went to college at UC Berkley and grew up in California. I think this is the beauty of Alpha Phi that a girl from Kansas and a girl from Berkley can one day meet and be the best of friends ... how great is that?

Well ... stay tuned. I'm having lots of adventures here in California. This girl from Kansas is only getting started.